The Omnibus

Issue date: 5/6/04 Section: Sports

Comment on this article

I had a life-changing epiphany this weekend: I hate the New York Yankees.

No, this is not a new thought I have come up with, it's been there for quite some time, but it did become real to me how much I hate those "darn" Yankees.

The Yankees are the personification of evil; the reflection of everything not right with the world. They are the reason why we are at war in Iraq, seriously. There has to be some sort of connection between the Yankees and the war in Iraq. Evil only begets evil. I am convinced George Steinbrenner is not a human being, but merely some evil spirit sent to destroy all that is good in sports and the world.

What fueled this epiphany of mine was watching Kansas City Royals outfielder Carlos Beltran play what will probably be his last series in New York as a Royal before he becomes a Yankee. Beltran, who is a free agent at the end of the year, will more than likely end up in New York next season, if not this season, because of the Yankees dire need for a centerfielder and their desperate need to have the largest payroll in the history of the world.

Beltran is drawing comparisons to Barry Bonds and has the potential to be the next greatest player in baseball. That comparison may not be too far off either. Through Beltran's first 712 games, he has more runs scored, runs batted in and a better batting average than Bonds did through his first 717 games and is only nine home runs and 22 stolen bases behind Bonds in that same period of time. Will Kansas City get to witness Beltran's charge at the title of greatest player of all-time? Yes, when he is suited up in pinstripes making incredible plays on Baseball Tonight or in Kauffman Stadium to send the Royals on their way to another 600 loss season (which is amazing because there are only 162 games in a season).

The problem is not necessarily that the Yankees will get Beltran. The problem is that the Yankees will get everyone else too. The Yankees are the epitome of "a thief in the night." The only difference is that they have the tenacity to steal in the daylight as well. Royals fans are already starting to look down the lineup to try to figure out who will be next to leave after Beltran. Ken Harvey? Angel Berroa? Jimmy Gobble? Jeremy Affeldt? Tony Pena? Allard Baird? The lemonade guy? Who knows. St. Louis Cardinals fans are not safe either. Just because Albert Pujols was locked up for over $100 million dollars earlier this year does not mean the Yankees will not have a void at first base sometime in the near future. If the Yankees truly want Pujols, they will get him.

There is one thing, however, worse than the Yankees and Steinbrenner. A Yankees fan. In a recent column by Joe Posnanski of the Kansas City Star, Posnanski describes Yankees fans as "the most spoiled fans in all of sports. Nobody is close. They make Paris Hilton look like a monk. They make the Kennedy's look like the Swiss Family Robinson. Then, it's been that way for a long time."

And it is not going to change anytime soon. The Boston Red Sox and Chicago Cubs are cursed. The Florida Marlins will not win another World Series for at least seven years and the Anaheim Angels have already used all of their luck against the Yankees. What are Royals fans left with? Slugger, the Royals mascot. Hey, maybe he could play centerfield.

Article Tools