2008 Woodie Awards
Respecting the runners
Ben Nielsen
Issue date: 11/11/04 Section: Sports
- Page 1 of 1
I am not a runner, and never will be as long as I live. However, after going to the NCAA Division II South Central Regional Cross Country meet last Saturday, I have a new respect for those bizarre people called "long distance runners."
Are they possessed? I think so. These runners find pleasure in running one to two mile warm-ups. What in the world motivates people to run long distances for fun?
Now, this crazy long distance running thing does not only apply to Cross Country runners, whom I suppose have a semi-decent excuse to run 600 million miles a day (they get a scholarship for it). The people who run and say they do it to "stay in shape" are the even weirder people. I think they run because they sat down one day and thought, "What's the best way to improve my body in the most painful and boring way ever devised by man that does not involve ice hockey and does not cost me a dime? Oh, I know, running really far!" Maybe they do it because they look cool running. Some people do look really cool running, for some reason. I, on the other hand, look absolutely ridiculous.
What I have learned about runners is that they are a different breed of people. I actually dated a runner once. I know this must surprise many of you, but it did actually happen. The girl I dated said when she did not run she felt depressed or felt like she did not accomplish anything that day. Sometimes she would actually have headaches. Her statement led me to this conclusion: running is like a disease, but somehow it makes a person healthier.
Back to the meet. When a person thinks of a cross country meet, the first thing that may pop into their mind might be "I'm not going." I was not expecting much from watching a few hundred people run in a really big circle. But there is much more to it than that such as th crowds of people who practically run with the competitors to cheer for these poor souls. For some reason, both coaches and fans will run to different check points around the course and scream various things at them. Some individual runners even have their own posse running around the outer edges of the course yelling at what I suppose is their head master. What the coaches or posse member yells at the runners depends on the gender of the runner.
Here is what one coach said to a male runner. "You're in 22nd place. That is not (expletive) good enough. You gotta get up there man, you gotta get up there." The female runners get slightly better treatment from their coaches. "Come on Sally (I actually had no clue what her name was). You can do better than this. We need a better performance out of you - let's go!" I think at the time "Sally" was in first place, or something. Not really, but she was really far up there.
Most things that were said, however, were very encouraging and positive, but when you are watching someone run six miles, the mean things that are said to them seem to really stick out.
Then, there are the runners from Africa. Two words for them - ridiculously amazing. Case in point, the individual who won the men's race, Nicodemus Naimadu, ran 6.2 miles in 29 minutes, 58 seconds. In case you are keeping score at home, that is a sub five-minute mile over the course of six-plus miles. I do not even know if I can run a quarter-mile in five minutes. Naimadu, who runs for Abilene Christian University, was one of five members of his qualifying team. All of whom finished first through fifth. All five of those runners were also from different countries in Africa. In other words, if you are a person who likes to bet a lot, do not bet against a Kenyan or someone from Uganda because those countries are in Africa. They are all amazing. Oh, by the way, the women's champion was from Zambia, so you can throw "Zambonians" into the list of African countries who produce amazing runners as well.
When all is said and done, non-runners have to respect runners. It is not just a rule, it is a necessity. People who purposely run deserve credit for their endurance and high tolerance for pain. Without runners, we would not have runner's shorts and Runner's Magazine. What would the world be like without those amazing inventions? So here is to runners and good luck with all of your future endeavors.
Are they possessed? I think so. These runners find pleasure in running one to two mile warm-ups. What in the world motivates people to run long distances for fun?
Now, this crazy long distance running thing does not only apply to Cross Country runners, whom I suppose have a semi-decent excuse to run 600 million miles a day (they get a scholarship for it). The people who run and say they do it to "stay in shape" are the even weirder people. I think they run because they sat down one day and thought, "What's the best way to improve my body in the most painful and boring way ever devised by man that does not involve ice hockey and does not cost me a dime? Oh, I know, running really far!" Maybe they do it because they look cool running. Some people do look really cool running, for some reason. I, on the other hand, look absolutely ridiculous.
What I have learned about runners is that they are a different breed of people. I actually dated a runner once. I know this must surprise many of you, but it did actually happen. The girl I dated said when she did not run she felt depressed or felt like she did not accomplish anything that day. Sometimes she would actually have headaches. Her statement led me to this conclusion: running is like a disease, but somehow it makes a person healthier.
Back to the meet. When a person thinks of a cross country meet, the first thing that may pop into their mind might be "I'm not going." I was not expecting much from watching a few hundred people run in a really big circle. But there is much more to it than that such as th crowds of people who practically run with the competitors to cheer for these poor souls. For some reason, both coaches and fans will run to different check points around the course and scream various things at them. Some individual runners even have their own posse running around the outer edges of the course yelling at what I suppose is their head master. What the coaches or posse member yells at the runners depends on the gender of the runner.
Here is what one coach said to a male runner. "You're in 22nd place. That is not (expletive) good enough. You gotta get up there man, you gotta get up there." The female runners get slightly better treatment from their coaches. "Come on Sally (I actually had no clue what her name was). You can do better than this. We need a better performance out of you - let's go!" I think at the time "Sally" was in first place, or something. Not really, but she was really far up there.
Most things that were said, however, were very encouraging and positive, but when you are watching someone run six miles, the mean things that are said to them seem to really stick out.
Then, there are the runners from Africa. Two words for them - ridiculously amazing. Case in point, the individual who won the men's race, Nicodemus Naimadu, ran 6.2 miles in 29 minutes, 58 seconds. In case you are keeping score at home, that is a sub five-minute mile over the course of six-plus miles. I do not even know if I can run a quarter-mile in five minutes. Naimadu, who runs for Abilene Christian University, was one of five members of his qualifying team. All of whom finished first through fifth. All five of those runners were also from different countries in Africa. In other words, if you are a person who likes to bet a lot, do not bet against a Kenyan or someone from Uganda because those countries are in Africa. They are all amazing. Oh, by the way, the women's champion was from Zambia, so you can throw "Zambonians" into the list of African countries who produce amazing runners as well.
When all is said and done, non-runners have to respect runners. It is not just a rule, it is a necessity. People who purposely run deserve credit for their endurance and high tolerance for pain. Without runners, we would not have runner's shorts and Runner's Magazine. What would the world be like without those amazing inventions? So here is to runners and good luck with all of your future endeavors.
Be the first to comment on this story